[Image description: a collage of four photographs, depicting freshly harvested produce from a small personal garden. Clockwise from top left: a hand holding five ripe red strawberries; a lime green plastic bucket, about a quarter full of new potatoes, still with soil on them; a metal colander containing an assortment of fresh salad leaves and … Continue reading Our little patch of green
[Feature image description: close-up view of the trunk of a Weeping Willow tree, viewed from behind the metal railings of a bridge, diagonally leading away from the bottom left to the top right of the image. The tree is resplendent with masses of bright green leaves hanging downwards. Behind the tree and its branches, a … Continue reading The same crap, on top of everything different
I often struggle to translate my thoughts into either speech or the written word. Sometimes I lack the particular executive functioning powers required to organise and synthesise what's in my mind, to present it to an external audience. At other times, the very fact that I have set myself the task of writing means that … Continue reading Lost for words
I was very well-behaved at school. It wasn't that I always agreed with the reasons for complying, conforming, or doing a particular thing I was asked; I simply found the idea of being told off or criticised in front of others too stressful to contemplate. I drew far too much attention to myself as it … Continue reading Logic, behaviour, and discipline
It's been one of those dazzlingly sunny spring days. The kind that I value far more than the summer days we Brits tend to experience (which I find veer far too alarmingly between overly hot and disappointingly cold and wet). And I've been tired out by an exhausting term at work, and successive nights of … Continue reading A thing I really miss.
I can never do enough. I can never be a good enough employee. I can never work hard enough I can never be organised enough I can never teach well enough Never quite convey my points well enough I'm never creative enough Never convincing enough Authentic enough Inspiring enough I can never do enough. I … Continue reading We can never do enough.
My dear, wonderful girl You had a feeling you were different. And now you know for sure. Your brain works a little differently from those of many people around you. And at times, you don't know what to make of that. Does it change anything, or does it change nothing? You've been given this label. … Continue reading To an autistic girl
It's my belief that I was depressed pretty much continuously from late primary school right up until some point in my mid-to-late 20s. Anecdotal evidence (...Twitter...) suggests that this is pretty typical among late-diagnosed autistics. Don't get me wrong. Aside from occasional episodes of self-injurious stimming, I rarely self-harmed. I usually managed to get out … Continue reading Why?
I have a bruise on the ring finger of my right hand. And it's all my fault. Or is it? The morning rush after a terrible night's sleep. My daughter has a cold. She was up for much of the night coughing. And I was up with her – feeding her medicine, wiping her nose, … Continue reading Fallout
I've never been the kind of person to go on for the endofyearroundupsocialmediastatusupdate thing. But this year has been different, and besides, I'm blogging now. Just over five months ago, I received my formal autism diagnosis. But it feels as if this whole year has been about autism – my own, and that of my … Continue reading Things I have learnt in 2016