I've had a lifelong relationship with stimming. And for so much of my life, I've tried to stop. Why did I do that to myself? I'm such a stimmy autistic. I'm more noticeably stimmy than many autistics I know - to the extent that other autistics comment on just how stimmy I am. I think … Continue reading Give in to the stim.
The other day, someone on Twitter - an autistic person who doesn't experience them - asked me what it feels like to have a meltdown. It’s not a subject I especially like talking about - I’ve attempted to write about it several times on this blog, got frustrated, and given up. This past week, I … Continue reading On meltdowns
Less than a fortnight ago, I wrote about being "rigid". I explained about my need for schedules, plans, and organisational strategies. My need to prepare, and my alarm and anxiety in the face of uncertainty and ambiguity. It's there in my pre-assessment mapping to the DSM-V guidelines, under my response to Criterion B2, exemplified by: … Continue reading Are we REALLY that inflexible?
Over a decade ago, when I was working as a low-level administrator in a university student support unit, I remember a student who was a regular and frequent visitor to our service. He came in virtually every day. He spoke in a staccato, "mechanical"-sounding voice. He always wore the same choice of clothing: blue outdoor … Continue reading Why I “can’t possibly be Autistic”, Reason #3: I’m not THAT rigid, right?
I've been something of a performer all my life. At primary school, it was drama. I never got to be the heroine or the pretty princess, but that didn't bother me (mostly). Gleeful, gorgeous, grotesque riches were bestowed upon me in the form of 'character' parts: witches, ghosts, and anyone requiring an accent. I got … Continue reading Performance
[Author's note: I'm kind of less happy with this article the more I reflect upon its subject matter. I fully acknowledge it's not entirely credible from an 'academic' standpoint - I kind of didn't get what "gifted" meant in technical/clinical terms. I've had a few conversations with folks more tapped into the research behind, and … Continue reading I’m not “gifted”.
I talk to myself. An awful lot. When I do this, I'm almost invariably verbalising my thinking about, and processing of, the thing I'm doing at that particular moment. This isn't the same as the inner monologue that runs incessantly over everything that I do; the one I hear at every waking moment, but which … Continue reading Director’s Commentary
I was very well-behaved at school. It wasn't that I always agreed with the reasons for complying, conforming, or doing a particular thing I was asked; I simply found the idea of being told off or criticised in front of others too stressful to contemplate. I drew far too much attention to myself as it … Continue reading Logic, behaviour, and discipline
[To all my #actuallyautistic readers: please bear with me. Some – perhaps a lot – of what you read in the following post may seem a little uncomfortable. But try and stick with it, and hopefully you'll see where I'm going with it. Love and compassion to everyone, as always.] Dear Autism Parent I just … Continue reading Dear Autism Parent
A while back, I wrote a rather lengthy post about social interaction, empathy, and so on, and how (in my opinion), every little bit of behaviour we see in front of us comes down to how someone processes information. I’m still banging on about this, because I still get repeatedly fed up with people – … Continue reading On ‘symptoms’