We're nearly at the mid-point in January 2018, and I'm only just now writing my first post of the year. I didn't even do an end-of-year retrospective to see out 2017. Initially, I was reluctant to do so because the final few months felt so negative. My anxiety and stress levels during Autumn and early … Continue reading Connecting
Over a decade ago, when I was working as a low-level administrator in a university student support unit, I remember a student who was a regular and frequent visitor to our service. He came in virtually every day. He spoke in a staccato, "mechanical"-sounding voice. He always wore the same choice of clothing: blue outdoor … Continue reading Why I “can’t possibly be Autistic”, Reason #3: I’m not THAT rigid, right?
I talk to myself. An awful lot. When I do this, I'm almost invariably verbalising my thinking about, and processing of, the thing I'm doing at that particular moment. This isn't the same as the inner monologue that runs incessantly over everything that I do; the one I hear at every waking moment, but which … Continue reading Director’s Commentary
[Feature image description: close-up view of the trunk of a Weeping Willow tree, viewed from behind the metal railings of a bridge, diagonally leading away from the bottom left to the top right of the image. The tree is resplendent with masses of bright green leaves hanging downwards. Behind the tree and its branches, a … Continue reading The same crap, on top of everything different
Before April came around, I'd been mentally conjuring up my plans for activism, amplification, signal boosting, the promotion of acceptance, and whatnot. As it happens, events have conspired against me, and I haven't been as active in railing positively against the "awareness industry" (as fantastic new blogger Little Sparrow puts it) as I'd hoped to be. … Continue reading #AutismAppreciation: 7 things that make me a valuable employee
The other day, I was attending another SEED workshop. This time, the focus was on disability and social class (we'd already delved deep into race, gender and sexuality), and I was super-keen, as always, to get into the discussion. I felt I had plenty to say on this particular subject, and plenty I hoped to learn … Continue reading We need to stop apologising.
I can never do enough. I can never be a good enough employee. I can never work hard enough I can never be organised enough I can never teach well enough Never quite convey my points well enough I'm never creative enough Never convincing enough Authentic enough Inspiring enough I can never do enough. I … Continue reading We can never do enough.
I've never been the kind of person to go on for the endofyearroundupsocialmediastatusupdate thing. But this year has been different, and besides, I'm blogging now. Just over five months ago, I received my formal autism diagnosis. But it feels as if this whole year has been about autism – my own, and that of my … Continue reading Things I have learnt in 2016
Eight years ago, a long time before I was officially diagnosed as autistic, I was a mature student studying full-time for a Masters degree. One of the best years of my life – a year of total immersion in learning, with minimal worldly distractions. A time of luxury, in many ways. This meant, of course, … Continue reading Inclusion: getting on with “just learning”
For the most part, I am happy to think of myself not as disabled or disordered, but simply different. And then sometimes, it hits me. I see that much of what I have achieved and overcome throughout my life has been a direct result of being autistic, because it is such an intrinsic part of … Continue reading And then sometimes, it hits me.