Modern lighting is rubbish.

Nothing makes me a more committed proponent of the Social Model of Disability than modern lighting. I am far more disabled, as an autistic person, than I once was. I'm far less tolerant of sensory triggers than I once was. Noise and bright lights are the things that get me more than anything, and more … Continue reading Modern lighting is rubbish.


Sweet abandon

Three silhouette figures, one adult and two children, dancing, surrounded by swirling colours and musical notation.

I'm glad that my daughter and I have resurrected our living room discos. When I was pregnant with her brother, we stopped. And for a long while afterwards we didn't do it. But over the past few months, even as my mood has gradually darkened, we've been dancing again. And tonight, I dance with sweet abandon. The physicality is all. My very being craves it. And afterward, I feel replenished, nourished, and full of love.


It's my belief that I was depressed pretty much continuously from late primary school right up until some point in my mid-to-late 20s. Anecdotal evidence (...Twitter...) suggests that this is pretty typical among late-diagnosed autistics. Don't get me wrong. Aside from occasional episodes of self-injurious stimming, I rarely self-harmed. I usually managed to get out … Continue reading Why?

A Letter to the Parent or Carer of an Undiagnosed Autistic Girl

[Trigger warning: mental illness] Dear Parent/Carer, I'm writing to you in my capacity both as the parent of a little girl awaiting assessment for autism, and as an adult autistic woman, and one who has spent most of her life, until the age of 36, undiagnosed. I know you've been wondering about your girl. Perhaps … Continue reading A Letter to the Parent or Carer of an Undiagnosed Autistic Girl

An open letter to everyone who has ever known me.

[Trigger warning: mental illness] To everyone who has ever known me, Recently, I've discovered something about myself. And what I'd long wondered about, and convinced myself of, was officially confirmed for me. I am autistic. To some, it will come as no surprise at all. Others may not have seen this coming. And to others … Continue reading An open letter to everyone who has ever known me.