It is what it is. I find myself having to say this so often. It's supposed to be a mantra of mindfulness. Of accepting what is, because that's all there is. Right here, right now. At the moment I find myself regretting so much, despite how often I try to convince myself that regrets are … Continue reading It is what it is.
I was very well-behaved at school. It wasn't that I always agreed with the reasons for complying, conforming, or doing a particular thing I was asked; I simply found the idea of being told off or criticised in front of others too stressful to contemplate. I drew far too much attention to myself as it … Continue reading Logic, behaviour, and discipline
It's been one of those dazzlingly sunny spring days. The kind that I value far more than the summer days we Brits tend to experience (which I find veer far too alarmingly between overly hot and disappointingly cold and wet). And I've been tired out by an exhausting term at work, and successive nights of … Continue reading A thing I really miss.
Does anybody else ever find themselves playing this game? I'm always on the lookout. My daughter loves going to our local museum. For a while we went every weekend: always the same routine of bus–café–museum–park–ice cream (summer only)–bus. Now that my girl is at school, our weekends are more varied. There's often a birthday party … Continue reading Spot the Autistic
I can never do enough. I can never be a good enough employee. I can never work hard enough I can never be organised enough I can never teach well enough Never quite convey my points well enough I'm never creative enough Never convincing enough Authentic enough Inspiring enough I can never do enough. I … Continue reading We can never do enough.
I have a bruise on the ring finger of my right hand. And it's all my fault. Or is it? The morning rush after a terrible night's sleep. My daughter has a cold. She was up for much of the night coughing. And I was up with her – feeding her medicine, wiping her nose, … Continue reading Fallout
[To all my #actuallyautistic readers: please bear with me. Some – perhaps a lot – of what you read in the following post may seem a little uncomfortable. But try and stick with it, and hopefully you'll see where I'm going with it. Love and compassion to everyone, as always.] Dear Autism Parent I just … Continue reading Dear Autism Parent
This blog isn't an "autism parent" blog. I use this site as a place for my own catharsis, and for information- and experience-sharing. Nevertheless, I am a parent, and that part of who I am will, at times, feed into what I think and feel, and, thus, what I write about. I am also an … Continue reading Another like me?
I've been a little short on spoons over the past few weeks. Once the working day is over, and my children have got as much out of me as they need, my brain hasn't had sufficient processing power for me to blog, and I've struggled, even, with many everyday tasks. I'm all used up. I now feel … Continue reading The importance of self-care
[Trigger warning: mental illness] Dear Parent/Carer, I'm writing to you in my capacity both as the parent of a little girl awaiting assessment for autism, and as an adult autistic woman, and one who has spent most of her life, until the age of 36, undiagnosed. I know you've been wondering about your girl. Perhaps … Continue reading A Letter to the Parent or Carer of an Undiagnosed Autistic Girl