It is what it is. I find myself having to say this so often. It's supposed to be a mantra of mindfulness. Of accepting what is, because that's all there is. Right here, right now. At the moment I find myself regretting so much, despite how often I try to convince myself that regrets are … Continue reading It is what it is.
Before April came around, I'd been mentally conjuring up my plans for activism, amplification, signal boosting, the promotion of acceptance, and whatnot. As it happens, events have conspired against me, and I haven't been as active in railing positively against the "awareness industry" (as fantastic new blogger Little Sparrow puts it) as I'd hoped to be. … Continue reading #AutismAppreciation: 7 things that make me a valuable employee
The other day, I was attending another SEED workshop. This time, the focus was on disability and social class (we'd already delved deep into race, gender and sexuality), and I was super-keen, as always, to get into the discussion. I felt I had plenty to say on this particular subject, and plenty I hoped to learn … Continue reading We need to stop apologising.
Does anybody else ever find themselves playing this game? I'm always on the lookout. My daughter loves going to our local museum. For a while we went every weekend: always the same routine of bus–café–museum–park–ice cream (summer only)–bus. Now that my girl is at school, our weekends are more varied. There's often a birthday party … Continue reading Spot the Autistic
I can never do enough. I can never be a good enough employee. I can never work hard enough I can never be organised enough I can never teach well enough Never quite convey my points well enough I'm never creative enough Never convincing enough Authentic enough Inspiring enough I can never do enough. I … Continue reading We can never do enough.
I have a bruise on the ring finger of my right hand. And it's all my fault. Or is it? The morning rush after a terrible night's sleep. My daughter has a cold. She was up for much of the night coughing. And I was up with her – feeding her medicine, wiping her nose, … Continue reading Fallout
As I wrote in another post a while back, sometimes it hits me. And this morning it really, really hit me. And I did something I've never done before. Since my official diagnosis, exactly two months ago today, I've been – as usual – in numerous situations at work where I've been required to 'network'. … Continue reading A line has been crossed.
I've been a little short on spoons over the past few weeks. Once the working day is over, and my children have got as much out of me as they need, my brain hasn't had sufficient processing power for me to blog, and I've struggled, even, with many everyday tasks. I'm all used up. I now feel … Continue reading The importance of self-care
[Trigger warning: mental illness] Dear Parent/Carer, I'm writing to you in my capacity both as the parent of a little girl awaiting assessment for autism, and as an adult autistic woman, and one who has spent most of her life, until the age of 36, undiagnosed. I know you've been wondering about your girl. Perhaps … Continue reading A Letter to the Parent or Carer of an Undiagnosed Autistic Girl
My life has been one filled with envy. Envy at the other children in the playground who weren't constantly 'it' during games of tag because they couldn't keep up with the rest. Envy at the girls who all the boys fancied at school, and those who were graceful, elegant, whilst I tripped over my own … Continue reading I must stop comparing myself to others.