I've had a lifelong relationship with stimming. And for so much of my life, I've tried to stop. Why did I do that to myself? I'm such a stimmy autistic. I'm more noticeably stimmy than many autistics I know - to the extent that other autistics comment on just how stimmy I am. I think … Continue reading Give in to the stim.
We're nearly at the mid-point in January 2018, and I'm only just now writing my first post of the year. I didn't even do an end-of-year retrospective to see out 2017. Initially, I was reluctant to do so because the final few months felt so negative. My anxiety and stress levels during Autumn and early … Continue reading Connecting
Less than a fortnight ago, I wrote about being "rigid". I explained about my need for schedules, plans, and organisational strategies. My need to prepare, and my alarm and anxiety in the face of uncertainty and ambiguity. It's there in my pre-assessment mapping to the DSM-V guidelines, under my response to Criterion B2, exemplified by: … Continue reading Are we REALLY that inflexible?
Over a decade ago, when I was working as a low-level administrator in a university student support unit, I remember a student who was a regular and frequent visitor to our service. He came in virtually every day. He spoke in a staccato, "mechanical"-sounding voice. He always wore the same choice of clothing: blue outdoor … Continue reading Why I “can’t possibly be Autistic”, Reason #3: I’m not THAT rigid, right?
I've been something of a performer all my life. At primary school, it was drama. I never got to be the heroine or the pretty princess, but that didn't bother me (mostly). Gleeful, gorgeous, grotesque riches were bestowed upon me in the form of 'character' parts: witches, ghosts, and anyone requiring an accent. I got … Continue reading Performance
In between bouts of abject misery, whilst I've been off work over the summer holidays I've been immersed in a nice little obsession that has gripped every single member of our four-person household. My husband was always a huge Lego fan as a child, and was always eager, from her birth, for our girl to … Continue reading In praise of the brick
I talk to myself. An awful lot. When I do this, I'm almost invariably verbalising my thinking about, and processing of, the thing I'm doing at that particular moment. This isn't the same as the inner monologue that runs incessantly over everything that I do; the one I hear at every waking moment, but which … Continue reading Director’s Commentary
[Feature image description: close-up view of the trunk of a Weeping Willow tree, viewed from behind the metal railings of a bridge, diagonally leading away from the bottom left to the top right of the image. The tree is resplendent with masses of bright green leaves hanging downwards. Behind the tree and its branches, a … Continue reading The same crap, on top of everything different
It is what it is. I find myself having to say this so often. It's supposed to be a mantra of mindfulness. Of accepting what is, because that's all there is. Right here, right now. At the moment I find myself regretting so much, despite how often I try to convince myself that regrets are … Continue reading It is what it is.
Before April came around, I'd been mentally conjuring up my plans for activism, amplification, signal boosting, the promotion of acceptance, and whatnot. As it happens, events have conspired against me, and I haven't been as active in railing positively against the "awareness industry" (as fantastic new blogger Little Sparrow puts it) as I'd hoped to be. … Continue reading #AutismAppreciation: 7 things that make me a valuable employee